We all want to help our children be the best person they can be. We want them to be happy, healthy, and successful in life. But how do we do that? What kind of parenting style do kids really need to thrive?
The parenting style you use can affect so many aspects of your child's life, everything from their weight, their ability to make and keep friends, to the way they feel about themselves. It is important that your parenting style is supportive of their healthy growth emotionally, socially, physically, and developmentally because the way you interact with them and discipline them will influence them for the rest of their life (https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045.)
The video below can help you understand the 4 main styles of parenting. Take a few minutes and see where you fit.
This chart can help see where we really fall in our parenting style.
* Permissive parents are high in responsiveness but low in demandingness (or expectations). When we are very warm and snuggly with our kids but do not require much from them they miss out on boundaries and rules and do not know how to act or respond to the world around them.
* Uninvolved parents are both low in responsiveness (not warm and cuddly) and low in demandingness (expectations). When parents parent this way children do not feel loved and lack boundaries. This can cause many different behavioral issues as children seek for approval from anywhere and lack the skills to do so appropriately.
* Authoritarian parents have high demands and low warmth. This causes kids to not feel loved or accepted, and they can never live up to the expectations of their parents. This often causes kids to seek for approval in other places and they will often rebel.
*Authoritative parents are both warm and have high expectations. This balance in a child's life helps them feel loved and accepted for who they are, they learn that they can make mistakes but it is going to be ok as they learn to work through their mistakes because their parents have rules and expectations for them.
After looking at where you fall in your parenting style make notes as to what you can do to help yourself parent more like an Authoritative parent. What do you need to do to show more warmth and love, or how can you set more clear boundaries? Maybe be more flexible and responsive to their feelings.
When we empathize with our children and teach them to empathize with others we connect with them and they can connect with others. When we teach our children how to understand their own feelings and respond to them in appropriate ways behaviors will improve. We can teach and show empathy through these 4 steps 1) Empathy= listen to understand their perspective, How are they feeling and seeing the situation 2) Nonjudgmental= Don't judge what they are saying as right or wrong this stops them from being heard 3) Unconditionality= Give unconditional love regardless of what you believe or what they did. 4) Focus on the feelings= Say things like "you sound sad, or mad, or...if you are wrong they will correct them (Dr. Ken Moses, PhD.) Emotion coaching takes team work. I love knowing 1. All feelings are acceptable 2. All wishes are acceptable 3. Not all actions are acceptable. When we teach our children that it is ok to feel and wish for things, but...
10 ways to Expect and Get Respect 1. Respect your child. Let your child express their opinions, tastes, and values if they do so respectfully. 2. Expect Respect. Call it what it is use the words respect, disrespect, polite and rude so children know what they are and can live the expectation. 3. Explain the policy on respect to your children. If this is new to them do so when you are not heated, and do so calmly. 4. Tune your ears to respect and disrespect. If you don't recognize it how will they? 5. Nip disrespectful behavior in the bud. Respond immediately. 6. Use a special tone of voice to respond to disrespectful behavior. This communicates that it is serious. 7. Use time outs for disrespect if necessary. (This may not always be age appropriate but there are other variations of "time out" for older kids.) 8. Be firm but keep your cool. Losing your cool only shows disrespect. Practice what you are teaching. 9. Combine zero tolerance with a long term view. Don't l...
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